All what you need to know about Thai Karaoke
I am writing this guide exploring the underground world of the bar frequented mostly by Thai men: Karaoke bar. This guide will help you to get away with problems and common misunderstanding between foreigner and Thais in Karaoke.
What is a Thai Karaoke?
Thai karaoke are basically brothels where man can drink, sing and have sex with some lovely Thai girl. Basically has the same function of common beer bar frequently by falangs.
Why go to a dangerous and lousy Thai brothel?
So many beer bar, a go go and clubs with thousands of sexy girls that speak good English and western way of thinking. Going in a Thai brothel were most of the girl speak only Thai and the drinks are even more expensive. So many people climb the Everest every year and what about in Thailand?
The only reason to go there is because it’s exclusive, dangerous, challenging and new! It is a must for any new bye in the game; it is like a school exam.
Fishing Village answer to walking street
Do not get a false sense of security, I have been to Thai kareokes 100’s of times, but I never forget the things that can and have happened. I often sit there prepared to react. If you feel a bad vibe or lots of Thai guys have turned up, pay your bill and leave, don’t wait around to see if your gut instinct is right or not.
Remember that some areas can be more dangerous than others, for instance, I find that Pattaya’s kareokes are more dangerous than Sattahips kareokes. Pattaya has a lot of farang, that Thais see every day; this can breed some hatred, as they live alongside each other, seeing that fat balding farang with a nice car, hot 20 year old girlfriend and big house, can pull a few nerves.
Sattahips kareokes tend to be full of army and navy, they are a nice bunch. Bang Sarays kareokes are full of Cambodians and they like to fight the Thais, I have seen them run down the road many times, after causing a mischief (Mostly non payment).
Do remember that these karaoke are bottom end and the lowest form of life hangs out there, as well as decent young lads with less money. Just because the girls are super polite, don’t get a false sense that you are hanging around with decent people. Never had a bad experience with a girl, they are all super nice. Only the farang bars in Pattaya, is were girls start to breed bad attitudes, because they get away with it.
At some karaokes, the girls don’t ask you for drinks, they all sit around and pour you out drinks automatically anyway, but sometimes a girl will be assigned to you, and you pay 100 baht an hour for them to sit with you, no lady drinks expected, but I offer to share my beer with them. This is the cause of all arguments, as foreigners don’t understand this, when the bill comes, they get irate. To avoid this, its best to sit outside karaokes, you can stay outside and actually hear the person you are talking to, and you can chat with all the girls waiting outside, no charges will start.
I have seen many farang (they are always alone) in the karaokes, more often that not, they are total losers, they act very badly and encourage you to do so. One of them was swearing at the girls in Thai and was telling me, when I learn Thai, I can do the same, what he didn’t know, is that my Thai is far superior to his, and I know what an effect swear words have.
I am surprised that he is still alive, he often comes back from Pattaya with a black eye, it goes to show, Thais are more tolerant, than us farang. It also shows us, that the karaokes are not as dangerous as perceived, but because I have spent a lot of hours in them, I feel comfortable, for the newbie, following my guidelines will reduce risk of problems.
Do take some change, I often pay with 1000 bath but they have to walk off and get it changed, this will slow down your exit, if you wish to leave quickly. On the other hand, if things are getting bad, don’t wait for your change, just move on. I have a short fuse, but people never see it, because I can feel anger coming and I make a sharp exit, on one occasion, my friend was asleep in a karaoke, and he impeded my exit, I ended up losing my rag and smashing bottles. I quickly apologized and gave them a tip, they took it very well.
- Don’t get angry when they open your bottle of whisky and spill some on the floor outside, there are several reasons given for this, but basically, they are offering it to get good luck and to get customers to come.
- Do not get pissed off when you have brought a few drinks for a girl and you have found that she doesn’t go, some bars are only geisha service. When offering lady drinks, some bars won’t do them, others do wine coolers, 150 baht lady drink. Some bars don’t have the lady drink system. Some bars you can buy the girls a milkshake for 20 baht. Every bar varies, but set the rules when you sit down, make sure they ask you first, if they don’t you need to get on top of it quick. The first 5 minutes sets the tone, if you start buying lots of drinks, you wont be able to stop them. Remember that some bars will charge you 100 baht an hour to sit with the girls inside. (better than lady drink system).
- Avoid buying more than 1 lady a drink; it will get out of hand quickly. You can do it in bars that you already trust, but last night it was yakults all around for all 7 of them. This particular bar charged 50 baht for each drink, (7 baht yakult,) If you want to be generous without causing problems, buy them food as the sellers come past.
- Only go with guys that you know or trust, don’t go with guys that cant handle there drink, grope or get aggressive. On one occasion, I got into a spot of bother; there was 3 of us, my friend from home (real friend) and one guy that I knew locally. Basically they smelt trouble, they ran off and left me to it, they were scared shitless, I will never go out with them again. You need someone that you know if shit goes down, they will do there best to calm and control the situation. Then fight if needed. (Last resort).
Some bars have Laos girls, they will speak Thai also, these are always the hottest girls and best service. Some bars are Cambodians; they are less likely to cheat you as well as the Laos bars. Its always the Thai bars that try to trick you. Thai girls always think that they are superior, so will quite often, try to justify higher prices of beer by mentioning that its a Thai places opposed to the cheap Cambodian place down the road.
The more Thai that you know the better. Normally I sit down and the one who speaks the most English gets put with you, she can normally speak very little, if you prefer to choose a lady, you should make it known that you speak Thai, before you sit down. Basic Thai will get you by, but without a Thai speaking foreigner friend, it may get a bit boring and you may not understand what is going on. It’s important to know what isn’t Thai, if possible. If you bump into Cambodian males you need to be on high alert, they are often poorly clothed, darker and the language sounds rougher.
What are the prices in Thai karaoke?
For a large beer LEO the price is around 80-120 baht. You won’t get San Miguel and stuff like that. If you order a sang som coke, you will get a whole bottle and mixers. Most places give you a trolley with the drinks on, once the bottle is empty, they put it at the bottom of the trolley, this ensures no cheating. Watch out with the beer, sometimes it seems to be lasting forever, and you notice that they keep bringing out new ones without asking.
Most Thai guys will buy a bottle of 100 Pipers or Sang som coke, they bring it into the bar. You will get charged 40-60 baht for taking your own large bottle in, then you buy the mixers, most places only sell small bottles of coke or soda for mixers, for obvious reasons. (money) Thai guys tend to drink soda mixers with there whisky.
Ice is charged at 20 baht a bucket, quite often they will keep them coming, and the girls will keep you topped up. They do ask occasionally, if you want more or not, but I have accepted this cheap price, because of the service that you are getting. One sip and you’re topped up again.
Cost of girls
Most girls want 1500 baht long time or 1000 baht short time. There are short time karaoke around, where you can get it for 420 including room and condom. Prices might vary, but quite often its more expensive, but sometimes its cheaper.
420 Baht all in (I actually paid her more, which she was shocked about)
Do’s and Don’ts in Thai Karaoke
Remember that visiting a Thai karaoke will put you in the most dangerous place that you will most likely be in the whole holiday, but also remember, that I have had next to no problems in 3 years, if you follow my guidelines you should be perfectly fine. It’s only dangerous if you start doing things wrong.
- Do not try and get the girl a job in Pattaya, I have met good looking girls and I have thought to myself, fuck this girl could be earning shit loads in Pattaya, I need to help her! This is a bad idea, one of the Ban Saray karaokes stole a girl from a Sattahip Karaoke, and the mamasan went and shot her in the face and killed her!
- Do remember that some/most are police owned, never demand to see the owner, I have done this before, and the lady smiled and said, are you sure about that? (In Thai) I quickly realized what I had just said. I know a couple of guys from the Navy, and if things get bad, I call him up; he comes down and sorts it out in a Thai polite way.
- Keep an eye out for the girls reactions, quite often you cant tell if a bunch of Thai guys are about to cause trouble or not, we had some staring at us last night. But they were Cambodians, which is far worse, I kept an eye on the girls, as they are the first indication of trouble, they will protect you, but Thai/Cambodians are quite happy to plough through the girls.
This is a major reason to keep mamasan happy, she will have connections and she will help you. Using the girls as an indicator, means that you don’t end up staring back, making the guys even worse, make sure you smile if you look over at them. Quite often, the Thai guys will be trying to show off and practice there English skills, they will often be drunk and very happy, (sometimes very annoying) its important to acknowledge them, and not get angry or wave them off. Thai patrons should always be treated like its there place.
- Don’t grope or hog the girls, if there are Thai guys around, make sure that you haven’t grabbed all the girls, they get annoyed quickly, if you have all the girls, if you cant get rid of them, move on and come back. Occasionally you can get intimate in the bar, but its not normal, only feel up a karaoke girl, if its dark and there are no Thai guys around. Some karaokes have girls that don’t go, and even touching there leg, makes them freak out a little. On the other hand, I have fingered a girl in a karaoke, but this was a one off.
- Once, we had one drunken Thai guy that was with a group of Thai guys, and he is being aggressive towards us, I decided to join the guys at the table, within minutes, all the Thai guys were practicing shaking our hands and told the other guy to shut the hell up and bugger off.
- Do go for a shit before you go, the toilets will be as miserable as they get, piss and water on the floor, you never need to take your shoes off in a Thai karaoke, in fact, you have to wipe your feet on the way out.
- Do your research, check out Google maps, to see if the karaoke is at a fishing village or not, this is a high risk place to go. Such as this place where I have been 5-6 times. At most fishing villages, there are lots of Cambodians, they have little money, not much too lose and they can jump on a boat and escape if needed. Life seems to be cheap for them. It gets even more dangerous when the Cambodians end up being in the same bar as a Thai group. My friend was there when there was a shoot out, the mamasan had already pushed him out the door “This man have gun, he is going to shoot that man, if he shoots you, I have big problem, get out” was basically what she said. A few shots were fired and then a pickup appeared and took a body off towards the harbor.
Sex in Thai Karaoke
Quite often the girls are hairy downstairs, they don’t suck dick too well, some of them complain its too big, sometimes they are shy and sometimes they expect it to be one position and lie back, but they are always happy trying different stuff, especially with offers of more money. You very rarely get a nasty deep throat cum guzzler, that spits on your dick and tells you to fuck off as you are ramming her.
High risk HIV?
Quite often, these girls can be fucking the Thai guys that have Thai girlfriends that are bargirls; I don’t think that they are anymore risk than a regular bargirl.
However, the ones that are fucking the Cambodian fishermen, could be a higher risk, we just don’t know where there fishermen have been mongering, in what part of the world and how many other shit holes that they frequent. I would say that shagging a regular bar girl is high risk, and karaokes, probably higher risk.
There have been reports of higher HIV rates in Thai on Thai areas, but its all irrelevant, wrap up! Just for thought, there is a karaoke in Sattahip, which has the same owner as a Pattaya gogo, at night time the girls come up here and get fucked by the Thai guys. We are all sharing too. Think about this, the next time you want to bareback. (it will probably turn some of you on).